It's been a while. Chalk up yet another missed opportunity to "busy-ness". We've been preparing our house for an unfriendly market, working more hours than there actually are in a week, I've been getting ready (which includes writing a sermon and four children's programs) to leave the country this week with my church, attending an Every Man's Battle accountability group in an effort to shake the dust off my feet and move towards purity, and raising two little boys soooo....maybe "busy-ness" is a factor. But, writing for this blog, seeking personal victory, and hoping that other struggling men might be helped have not been far from my mind.
As I said, I am getting ready to leave the country with a group from my church. I'm thrilled to have the chance and I'm excited to see what God is going to show me. I'm also terrified about what the Devil is going to show me. In general I have done pretty well the past couple of weeks since I posted last. I have had an overall attitude of hopefulness and determination and I have enjoyed several victories. But, and I will always be honest here, I failed in a couple of big ways too. As I prepare to be away from my wife for ten days and I am beginning to rely more upon her sexually my concern is that the loneliness, the distance, and the Devil's willingness to present opportunities to sin will cause me to stumble. I know better than to "worry" about it because then it always seems to turn into a self-fulfilling-prophecy but its a concern.
The biggest reason to not be fearful is that my accountability partner will be there keeping me in check. I look forward to the day when I look to my wife to satisfy every sexual desire but until then and especially for the next two weeks please pray that I will keep my eyes off of other women and my head out of my posterior. I am so grateful to all of you who have read this blog and have posted comments. I have said it so many times its become a mantra but in the light of open confession between brothers not darkness can exist. We need each other and we need to be open with each other or we will lose a generation to the cancer of mediocrity and spiritual laziness. The women around us deserve men brave enough to be vulnerable who will heal and will prevail and will protect them and their purity. I look forward to writing more when I return. I'm sure I will have piles of fresh material to pull from. Pray for me and let me know how I can pray for you.
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2 comments:
Josh, thanks...that totally ministered to me. I hope in some way we all are to continue some kind of fellowship after our time is up together. Or, do we just depend on accountability? Be safe on your mission.
David
Josh,
I think the way you should be viewing this is not that your going to be away from your wife and sex rather what is the reason God is allowing me to go on this mission and how can He use me. You are blessed with a huge chance to give a country a first step towards Christ. You have a way with words and can be a great speaker for Christ. I guess what I'm saying is it's time to get down to business. God has called you to do a service for Him and that should be your focus right now not women. I hope this doesn't come off as being rude because it isn't meant that way. I speak to you in love and care for you and your family abd will be praying for you to be a light of Christ on this mission. Just remeber you have a covenant with your eyes and you don't have the authority to look at women other than your wife in a sexual manor. If you use this to remind you that this isn't about self gratification but about what had been ordered and pleasing to God I know you will be victorious. I love you brother and will continue to pray for your healing and that God uses you to fill already prepaired open hearts to recieve Him in Egypt.I pray God will remove your sexual desires and replace them with the desire to seek and serve Him. Be safe on your mission and know your Christian brothers and sisters here will be praying for you all.
Ed Collins
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